Let's talk all about creating your guest list. I am going to be really honest and vulnerable in this one...this was HARD. While we are so excited to celebrate with all of our favorite people at our wedding, creating our guest list was my least favorite part of the planning process.
From an outside perspective, it seems like logistically it wouldn't be THAT difficult to create a guest list. Even as a planner I would tell my clients to be selfish because it is your special day. But when it is all said and done, here are a few factors that contribute to the decision:
Emotions
Whether it be adding a friend or family member out of obligation or taking away a guest you thought would always be apart of your day, every decision feels tied to an emotion! I learned that it is not easy to pick and choose when people of your guest list are connected to the larger group. My recommendation would be to talk through each person and decision with your fiance and step away to think about it if you need to. In the end, I chose to invite every person I was hesitant about because I rather invite them and they choose not to come or can't make it, then always regretting if I should have invited them in the first place.
Budget
Creating a guest list within the budget and means of your wedding can be harder than expected. Your guest list is the toggle of your budget. So if you are wanting to invite 150 guests to your wedding, all of whom are very important people in your life, your budget has to reflect that cost per person. When adding up your budget per guest there are a few things to keep in mind:
Cost per meal and cocktail hour apps
Average bar cost per person
Stationary and postage
Upgraded items such as chairs and chargers
When you add up all these estimated costs and multiply it by your ideal guest count, it should give you a pretty good idea of where you will land.
The Line
Whether the cut off line needs to be drawn for venue capacity, budget, or your own personal guest count preference this is difficult as well. Where do you draw the line? Is it family members, an associated friend, your parents friends, a plus one? There needs to be some rule in which you decide so there are consistencies across the board when making decisions. We personally created a priority list of who absolutely had to be there, and a list of people we still loved and wanted to celebrate with but might not have room for. How we decided on who we ended up inviting may be a little controversial.
We placed our guest list in a tentative seating chart. If there was an extra chair or two at a table and someone was a tentative on our list, we added them. This is because no other person could fit in that place since they aren't part of or associated with the group at that table. While this seems odd, it was extremely helpful for us!
Plus Ones
Depending on your life season and how many of your friends are married, this could be easier for you. Something that is not often talked about when creating a guest list is how far out in advance the couple is deciding on a guest count. They have to factor in this guest list as far back as when they book their venue and sometimes that doesn't leave much wiggle room. For us that was 18 months in advance. My recommendation, similar to "The Line" above, is to create a rule. We personally invited plus ones for our guests who had serious significant others. For save the dates, we addressed that plus one by name. If there is a friend or family member who is really special to you and may have a significant other by the time of your wedding, you can put a place holder for that potential guest. Similarly if one of our guests is to break up with their significant other between the save the date and invite, we will not be giving them a plus one just to give them one. This might seem harsh, but it was important to us because of the financial investment and sentiment of our wedding, we don't want to be celebrating with people we do not know.
Overall, I wanted to share this blog specifically so you know that you are not alone. As I have said multiple times, this is a hard task. While many say to take the selfish route, that is just not always possible. Ultimately, it will all fall into place as it should. If you have a gut feeling after sending save the dates and want to add to your list later you can. Keep in mind that not every single person will be able to RSVP yes either. This is just my opinions and how we decided to go about it, but until you are walking through it yourself, you truly can't understand!
Commentaires